Adelle.
In Response to your Letter, I accept your offer of Employment for the Season! As you might suspect, a Man of My fame and Stature gets Hundreds, if not Thousands of such requests each year. The Sum you offer is nominal at Best, and considerably less than I usually charge for My Services. Certainly less than a Man of My Vigorous Nature and Proven Effectiveness is worth. However, My assistant Edgar (who is good at making Coffee and remembering things, but pretty Useless at anything Important) informed Me that your brother Theodore is one of the few Survivors of the Pox Demonic. As such, the Hunting in your area should be Particularly Good! Bully!
In addition to the Monies that you have promised, I will need a suite of rooms for My Personal use, and a closet or pantry or some-such to house Edgar. I will also require a space above the Mantelpiece to hang My most Important Trophy: The Hind End of ADRAMORGORAMADOTH, Chancellor of Hell and Supervisor of the Devil’s Water Closet. I hang this Magnificent proof of My Manhood in every house I Inhabit!
If the Post Office hasn’t entirely Bolloxed things up, this letter should be accompanied by several crates. These contain Brandy, Cigars, Ammunition, as well as other sundry Necessities for My Existence at Brightwick. Please open the one with the air-holes first, as I have sent Edgar in Advance to prepare for My Arrival. He will put the rest of My things in Order. I will be along Myself post-haste. Try not to get too many of yourselves eaten before My Arrival!
Sincerely,
Arthur Mouritz Abraham Ross Harkness, Esquire
(Paul Magee)
This guy sounds fun. Can't imagine Basil liking him. Adele is enough of a dewy eyed git without well formed fellows with no lack of self appreciation stalking about the place. No doubt, she's naming the children already.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, he seems remarkably free about where he leaves his brandy and cigars. No gentleman would deny another a good smoke, would he?
P.S. A decent tawny Port wouldn't be entirely amiss, either.
Edgar in the box nearly made me choke. I hope someone chooses to write him! Now that's a point of view! :)
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